I Eat Found Things

The Lost World: Jurassic Park

1.

Jeff Goldblum watches in bemused horror

As his daughter suddenly performs a gymnastics routine

In the old dilapidated warehouse.

A velociraptor is poised to eat his face,

Claws outstretched, mouth gaping,

But it too has stopped to watch her perform.

She flips and twirls on the metal bar,

Expertly swinging in a blur of rapid spinning.

‘Why is this happening?’ wonders Jeff Goldblum.

‘Can I eat it?’ wonders the velociraptor.

“Is dad impressed with my gymnastics skills?” wonders the daughter.

For what seems like forever

They watch her perform,

Jeff Goldblum and the raptor,

Lost in bewilderment,

Utterly dumbfounded,

Together.

2.

Vince Vaughan holds a giant tranquilizer gun,

And explains how the neurotoxin acts so fast

You’ll be out before you feel the prick of the dart.

Vince Vaughan spews saliva into Julianne Moore’s hand.

 She wipes it on his chest and says, “Your gum!”

Then he spits his gum in her hand.

Vince Vaughan says “You gotta love it.”

And Jeff Goldblum says, “I’ll love it when it works.”

And Vince Vaughan says, “It’ll work when you love it.”

Vince Vaughan looks up at the T-Rex

As Volkswagen size jaws tear apart his friend,

And blood sprays across his face,

And lightning forks through the sky

And chunks of his friend rain down like confetti,

And everyone’s screaming screaming screaming.

And under his breath, he whispers, “You’re money, baby.”