I Eat Found Things

Soundtrack

Some people feel their life has no meaning,

That they have no purpose in this world,

But I will tell you a great secret

That will allow you to feel

Your life is exciting and meaningful

In the way that a framed photo of piss

Can make piss exciting and meaningful

Or a piece of poop on a museum pedestal

Can make poop exciting and meaningful.

First thing to do is walk around.

Walk in a park, to school, anywhere really.

Now, put on your headphones,

And listen to the soundtrack to Inception.

Let it become the soundtrack to your life,

Imagine yourself as a character in a movie.

You are not yourself living your life,

But a person in a mental movie theater,

Watching yourself live your life

With an awed popcorn munching detachment,

And it is exciting and meaningful,

An Oscar award winning biopic.

Your daily trials and troubles aren’t mundane.

They’re the narrative engine driving forward

The sprawling epic adaptation of your life,

The most important story ever told,

And the only one that really matters.

For some people, this is all it takes.